As I drove my cranky 10-year-old to his bus stop one morning last week, he was so disappointed that our school district had called a 2-hour delay rather than cancel school outright. Never mind the 3-day weekend he just had, those two extra hours of sleep he had just had gotten, or the pending half day on Friday. He was just so bummed he had to go to school that day. I get it. Why find the good when we can dwell in the disappointment?

Apple doesn’t fall far, little man.

Yet, as we drove to the bus stop, he asked about the snow that was actively falling, wondering why it appeared as “rain” on the windshield and the ground when it hit. “Mom, why doesn’t it stick?” he asked. 

“You tell me, buddy…why is the snow not sticking?”

Him thinking, “Because the world doesn’t want me to be happy?”

Oh, my little Gloomy Gus. No, it’s because the ground and the windshield have a warmer temperature than freezing, so when the snow hits them it melts and turns to liquid. It cannot physically hold its temperature when in contact with a warmer temperature.

The Warmth. It Melts.

Are there any better feelings in the world than getting warm after being cold? Sitting near a fire? A long hot shower or bath? Socks on the feet? A warm comforter on the bed? I go from tense to relaxed within seconds of being warm. Why?

The Warmth. It Melts.

Where am I going with this? Well, there’s a lot of love song listening happening in our house these days as we prepare for the upcoming wedding! We have found a little piece that we love to listen to called “This is Love – Interlude” by Joe Kidney & Matt Walden. He’s a little all over the board in his musings but has a few quotes that I resonate so much with:

“But when has love ever been a waste of time?
When has love ever been the wrong thing to do?

Loving someone is never the wrong thing to do
Loving yourself is the best thing you can do
And why not love yourself and love someone else
That's the best of the best.

Because love is the best thing that's ever happened to this world
And it is the best feeling we could ever feel
Whether it's from your mother, your father, your family, your brother
Whatever it is or whether it's from a loved one
You should never let it go
You should never let it die

So please
Never stop loving, ever
Love is the best thing
And never stop loving yourself”

There’s a lot of faults I could highlight for you about myself. I’m REAL good at finding the areas I’d like to improve upon for sure. But I can also confidently say that when I entered my 40s, I also started this new self-reflection of finding some things about me that I was grateful to embody. One of those attributes is that I genuinely live by and embrace the sentiment of this Interlude. I genuinely do not hold hatred in my heart for anyone. Have I been hurt by others over the years – absolutely. Have I hurt others over the years – 100% hard yes. However, if any one of those people that have hurt me ever picked up the phone and called to get coffee, I’d be the first to set the date. Grudges. I don’t understand them. Boundaries are different and that’s a different blog post, but grudges don’t allow for change. Grudges don’t allow for redemption. Grudges don’t allow for forgiveness. Grudges don’t allow for love. When you meet someone, anyone, with love…including and most importantly yourself, that’s the best of the best. The days are long but the years go by so fast. When has love ever been a waste of time? When has love ever been the wrong thing to do? Being open always to reconciliation can literally change people and change yourself. Why?

The Warmth. It Melts.

My fiancé and I often find that we match each other’s energy. In many ways that’s a great thing because she’s the single most happy, funny, and incredible person I know. However, when she gets stressed, anxious, or what we call “in her feelings,” I find that I can match that same level of energy and we both get stuck in our feelings for no reason at all! Have you ever had this conversation?

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“But you seem down or frustrated!”

“Oh, I’m not...I’m just feeding off of your energy!”

So, literally nothing was wrong with me but because she got quiet for her own VALID reasons to be anxious, I got quiet!!  Well, that’s silly and that’s how the snow STICKS. Cold hitting cold. She can do the same if I come home and don’t carry a “happy go lucky” spirit with me when I enter. Yet, if I’m stressed and I call her and she picks up in her usual adorable, happy, couldn’t be more excited to talk to me voice – I IMMEDIATELY go from tense to relaxed in seconds. Like a warm shower. Why?

 The Warmth. It Melts.

Are there areas in your life, people in your life, maybe the way you see and talk to yourself, that you may be meeting cold with cold? What if you started with just one of those chilly areas and decided to be the warmth. My guess is that the cold, if it wants to stay cold, will go find somewhere else to try and attach itself OR maybe, just maybe, it will melt. What’s the harm in finding out?

The Warmth. It Melts.