I read this on a friend’s Instagram story today. Fill in the Blank… “I’ll be at peace when _____________.”

Maybe your answer is “I’m there now!” and if that’s the case, HIGH FIVE, in fact, DOUBLE HIGH FIVE to you!! What a wonderful place to be! However, maybe you can’t answer like that and your answer is something very specific such as,

“When I close this deal.”

“When I lose this weight.”

“When I find a significant other…or a different significant other.” 😉

“When my kids are older.”

“When I get pregnant.”

“When my marriage is healthy again.”

“When this weather warms up.”

“When I’m not living paycheck to paycheck.”

I could write these all day. I think something that has been hitting me deeply lately is how hard I run through these days and months, and sometimes I don’t know if I’m chasing or being chased.  Those are two completely different reasons to be running, and I believe one will lead to more peace than the other. As I visualize it, when I’m chasing something…I’m in control of the chase and running on my own terms. When something is chasing me, I’m not running on my own terms. When I’m honest with myself, I’m unsure most days if I go to bed at night feeling “at peace.” Often times, it feels like I’m “in battle.”  Being at peace to me feels like contentment in my current circumstances.  And, while I am so happy with those I have tied my life to, surround myself with, the career I have chosen, and the health and state of my kids…I still find myself in this state of unease.

Am I chasing a dream or being chased by an expectation?

Am I chasing health for my body, soul, and mind or being chased by the pressure to look a certain way?

Am I chasing building a career I love or being chased by the idea that I don’t sell as much as the realtor next to me?

Am I chasing a better a relationship with my kids or being chased by the notion that the other moms are able to do more and their kids actually all eat the same dinner every night and love vegetables and want to go on long walks with them?

I’ve started reading the book, “The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work” by Shawn Anchor, given to me as a recommendation from another agent I highly respect and the concept has me thinking more about this.

The misconception that we are fed is that our success will bring us happiness. When we close the deal, lose the weight, cook the perfect dinner, fix the marriage, find the partner,make the money, insert happiness just off the horizon here. Those things then will equate to happiness. Yet, the reality is that when we can find the happiness even before we DO THE THING, we are FAR more likely to ACCOMPLISH THE THING.

You see – I think I don’t feel at ease because I’m always being chased by the next thing. I reach a goal and then there’s another. I choose a wedding thing and then see a picture for a better thing. I decorate a room and then pinterest shows me a better room. These are the chasers and the thief of my peace.

As I process this, if you can relate, I encourage you to write down the areas in which you are the chaser and those in which you are being chased. Step 1 is identification and once we do that, now we can start to do something about it. Full disclosure – I just haven’t gotten that far in the book yet. Stay tuned for next month’s blog…that’s where the real healing is going to happen!